The beauty of the Teeny Weeny Afro

My teeny weeny afro (TWA) is now in bloom. I can now take a pick, stick it in my hair, and not feel it budge. Its beauty has blossomed even more by having it dyed. It looks so glossy and healthy. It is like my afro is saying to the world, "Look at me! I have arrived". Now, I know I made a promise to leave it be as much as possible, but I could not help but run my fingers in my damp hair and watch my teeny tiny curls form.

For the first time, I used a plastic cap for my hair mayonnaise and cholesterol conditioning treatment. I could feel my scalp tingling as if to tell me " Thank you for hydrating me". A week before, I had no hair, and now it is thick, healthy and even. I love the tenacity, the boldness, the gumption of natural hair.

"Say hello to my little fro"

It is such a wonderful feeling when you allow for yourself to grow inside and out. I have gained a lot from this blog in less than a month and learned a lot about myself. I have noticed a change since creating this blog to journal my natural hair journey. As I watch other natural divas and their blogs, I see their growth, the pride in themselves, the instillation of patience, and the courage to go against the norm. I like how many naturalist use vlogs or slide shows to share their natural growth journey after a year. I am excited to be part of that community.

Hair regimen....

Lusti's organics hair creme
Fantastic Sam's hydrating conditioner (dime size in palm)
Motions CPR leave in conditioner
Biotin Vitamin 1x daily

Peace of Christ

The beauty of the headband....

To combat the "Teeny Weeny Afro Blahs", I have started investing in headbands. I enjoy head bands because they allow you to spruce up your tiny afro when you don't have a much to twist and to add a little flair to your natural look as a whole. Many hair shops and stores have awesome hair bands in different styles. You can also buy them online. In this blog, I will to show you different head bands and how to wear them.

Other than head bands, you can try hair clips, designer bobby pins, flower clips, and more. Don't be afraid to get creative. The more you learn to work with your hair, the more you will love it. You can also reuse these items when your hair grows out and you are able to start wearing your full length protective styles.

Add a butterfly band with a little feather flair. 

 The bandeau is a hit with the TWA 

 SMILE!

 Laurels are very vogue

 Rock it out with a studded band!

Peace of Christ

Regimen Change

Hey fellow readers,

I just wanted to give you an update. Starting this evening, I am stopping the MN 2% solution. It has done what it was meant to do and that was help increase the growth of my sides, hair line and nape, but now it is time to stop. I also noticed some serious tingling than ever before and honestly, I was not comfortable with the feeling and decided it was best to stop. I do like the results, but like I said and noted, if it doesn't feel right its best to stop. Also, it was stated that those who had sensitives scalps would experience this....and I show did :-). Anyway, I am happy with the results.


Today, I died my hair with Bigen black dye instead of doing the protein treatment. I love this dye because its ammonia free and doesn't have hydrogen peroxide. Instead of a cream, water activates it which is awesome fo natural hair. I want to wait two weeks for the dye to set before I do this. Like I wrote last, sometimes we can do too much. And I want to just let it grow.

From this point on, I'm just going to stick with hydrating, moisturizing, and LEAVING IT ALONE. I am hoping by next month I can go see my beautician and consult her on what products I can use to increase my hair growth and hydration . Yes, I said beautician and I have one. I went to school to be a therapist so I think it is good to go to a hair specialist who can help me maintain my look.

Well, there is no real regimen tonight. Just an update night

Peace of Christ.

Why I decided to go natural..

Relaxed look. Two days before I was natural.

Above is a picture of me with relaxed hair. I looked good right? Actually, I thought I looked great. My look was clean, edgy, with a smidgit of personality. It "perfectly" suited me. My hair wasn't over relaxed, falling out in huge clumps, or unhealthy. As a matter of fact, father taught me how to cut and trim my hair and I had the ability to maintain my short spiky hair-do without a single thought. So with that written, you are probably wondering and thinking, "why I decided to return to my natural roots?"

Aye, well there's the rub my friends (as Shakespeare use to write in his plays). It is because relaxed was no longer me. The look above is what I thought I was suppose to look like. I looked awesome, but I wasn't happy. The picture above  was taken after I had succumbed to the weakness of going back to what I considered the norm and bought a relaxer. I felt that my hair made me and my personality. When I was sad, I cut my hair. When I was happy, I bought a wig. When I was confused I cut it all off. My hair was becoming my punching bag. I have to laugh now wondering what my bosses, friends, family and classmates thought when I showed up with short hair one week, long hair the next, and then no hair at all.

For me, as a black woman, I really didn't think about such things (the multiple changes), well not until now that is. Many don't know or understand this, but it is culturally acceptable and the norm for black women to have a connection with their hair as well as the ability to change it often. It was one way we could exert control over something as well as express ourselves. But for me, I started to observe that these constant changes were having an affect on me and my well being.

The decision to change

 It was no longer a "cultural thing", but started becoming a coping mechanism. At one time, my hair would have stayed one way for long periods of time, but in the past three years I have not been able to have one stable or continuous look. The constant changes became my way of covering up bits of me that just didn't feel right or fit anymore. Somewhere, the the real me wasn't beautiful and I was no longer authentic. I became lost, what changed to what I thought others would like, what made me look prettier, and what make me feel a part of something.

Does this look like me? 

I become natural, because I wanted to let all of that go.  I wanted to have a fresh start and not have the stress on me that was making me unhappy, making me anxious all the time, making my hair thin from the constant  changes. I became natural because I want to learn stability, to appreciate myself and my natural beauty, and to become comfortable with me. For so long I have walked this Earth and never really "Lived". I want to get to know me. I want to be happy with me. I want to say to God, thank you for making me with my 3b thick hair, my rose pink lips, huge dark eyes, and thick thighs. I want to look in someone's face and not think, "are they looking at my hair?" and "I look stupid with this wig on". I want to radiate confidence in myself once more and not base my well being on what I think others looks good on me or what I look like. I no longer want to be "fake". I want to watch myself bloom in all things. This is not just about my hair, it is about all that is and within me. My hair just happens to be a catalyst to a means to a new beginning.



Hair regimen for today (after I run)....

Aphogee Protien Solution
Hair wash
Paul Mitchell Mint Shampoo
Fantastic Sam Conditioner
Motions Professional CPR Triple Action Leave in Conditioner
Massage with Lust Organics Hair Creme


Peace of Christ

Natural overkill....

Natural hair does not define who I am, but I define my natural hair. It is part of the canvas that is me.

Maybe this should have been the first entry in my blog, but I have learned a very valuable lesson when it comes to natural hair..... it takes a lot of research, patience, and time. There are so many things to be aware of when one undertakes the natural hair journey. I think one thing that I am learning is to be very away of is the "quick fix" mentality the is invading the natural hair industry. Like most women, I want beautiful, long, wavy hair that blows in the wind  and not down the street.  And I will also admit that I am an impatient person who  wants results fast. I want to see spontaneous results. I want to have 1 inch a week or 3 inches after 3 weeks. But after viewing several websites where many bloggers and v-loggers are reviewing hair potions, techniques, and hair regimens with negative reviews..I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm over doing it.

Let me ask you a question. When black men grow out their hair, do you see them mixing organic potions, olive oil infusion treatments, sulfur / castor oil, or apple cider vinegar on their scalp? I remember seeing grown men sit between their mother's or girlfriend's legs, get their head scratch, greased with Blu Magic grease, braided, and sent on their way. I see men walking around here with longer dreads and locks and they don't have a vlog or blog? Are we doing too much?

There have been many vlogs and blogs that have been beneficial, but I am finding the ones that get the most likes from the natural community are the ones that discuss protective styles, locking in moisture, keeping a daily routine, and practicing patience. This is what I try to do with my regimen.

Natural hair is art!

Now, no two vlogs and blogs are alike. There are some really good ones, like the MN 2% that has helped with my slow growth near my temple, hairline, and nape area, and even the ones on how to properly massage your scalp.I took the time to research the product and it works well for me. But I must admit, the urge to see if there is something even better out there that will give me faster results has invaded my thoughts. But, I stopped when I noticed what I was doing.

My goal is to stick with the products I have until they are all used up. I don't want to hop from idea, to product, to method in hopes of finding the "holy grail" of natural hair growth. I plan to do what I did last time; keep it moisturized, massage, not to mess with it, keep it wrapped, take my vitamins and MN solution, and just enjoy the growth. Just allow it to be. Enjoy the journey. I don't want to slow up process by using my natural hair as a science experiment only to have to start over again. Enjoying the process and taking care of myself is the only way to me having the natural hair I dream of.

A Natural Community...

                                                 My hair picked out---HAIR

I must admit that I have been enjoying the excitement of  my hair growth. I was so ecstatic that while in the hair aisle of my local Wal-Mart picking up my leave in conditioner and other stuff, I met a wonderful mother and daughter duo and started discussing natural hair techniques and maintaining a healthy body. These two women (and their young granddaughter/cousin who was with them) had beautiful luscious natural hair. I must admit that I had noticed the mother earlier (who looked more her daughter's sister than mother) and peaked in awe several times because she had  wonderful voluptuous main, dark spellbinding eyes, and beautiful flawless complexion.

The conversation began after they were at a loss as where to find the natural hair products in the store. I just had to step in right then and there and we got to talking about the heutiful steamer, juicing, different methods of growing out natural hair, and all kinds of other products. This one little meeting was just so inspirational that we ended up swapping numbers and adding each other for support on face book.

                                            Yeap- Its thicker after only a few days

I am really enjoying my natural hair growth and the community that is out there. It is awesome to see that there are other women, such as myself, learning to embrace their natural beauty. Looking at these two women made me realize my goal even more. One day, I will be like them in the hair aisle with my beautiful locks in bloom and a newby naturalista will stare in awe of my main.  I am learning so much on how to do easy twist, what to use, what vitamins to take, and so on and so forth. It has been an inspiring day.

Today, I officially have a full TWA...YAYAAYYA! I bought a couple of hair bands that look AWESOME. They were $1.99 at the Hair Mary-Go-Round on Indian Trail. I will show pictures of those later.


Today's hair regimen....

Biotin (1 vitamin daily)
MN Solution
Water (Don't comb without it:P)
Lusti's Organic Olive Oil hair spray
Lusti's Orgainic Olive Oil hair dress

Monday will be my first protein treatment!

Peace of Christ Folks

Say What! (Part 2)

I can see you all now....

A PART TWO ALREADY? Yes, indeed readers, there is a part two. I have some pretty awesome and quick results from the monastat nitrate 2% solution mix and I wanted to show them off. As you read in my first "Say What" blog, I started a biotin and monastat nitrate 2% regimen only a few days ago, and I must say I have gotten some pretty interesting results. The first picture (below) was taken about a week ago. If you notice, my hair line is a little off (don't laugh), patchy, and my sides are really thin. You can even see where my hair line goes back a bit. I was using the Dr. Miracles Nape and Hot Grow to stimulate my scalp but decided to cut that back due to the petroleum (grease) that it contained. Although I found it helped some, it left my scalp really greasy and I didn't like the heavy feeling it gave me.  

Yes, my hair line is just looking rough :P

After doing some web research, I happened upon the monastat nitrate 2% regimen. As I wrote in my last blog, when I first tried it, I felt a bit of  tingling and experienced a minor headache, but haven't experienced these side effects since. Actually, the tingling that I have felt makes me want to scratch my scalp in a good way. When my scalp itches, for me it means that my hair is growing...and it has been itching in different spots. No, its not irritated and I am not having an allergic reaction...but I did notice thickness and growth in only a couple of days. You can see it in my picture taken today. I smoothed my hair down so you can see how much thicker my hair line and hair has become since using this product.

Now, I didn't do anything to my hair earlier because I had a " Don't touch, just leave it alone day." But I thought I would share my joy. I use this solution every other day as suggested and decided to only take the biotin for now. The prenatal vitamins I have put aside for now.  Anyway, here is what my hair looks like now.

                   Look at my nice full hair line and sides in a matter of days !

I'm actually really impressed with the results and will continue to use this method every other day diluted in leave in conditioner and olive oil. I spent the morning looking at how quickly my baby hairs around my hair line are growing in and re-framing my face. I am really enjoying it. When my hair isn't gelled down, I have a nice TWA or (TWF as my best pal calls it).

My MN Solution (Monostat Nitrate for short)

Two teas spoons of monostat nitrate 2%

1.8 FL OZ bottle (Little bottle you get from your relaxer kit)

4 table spoons of olive oil

4 table spoons of motions leave in conditioner

Note: Remember to shake it up each time before use. Oil and water separates..so SHAKE IT GOOD

I made a small solution because I didn't want to buy a lot of stuff and it not work. But now that I know it works, I am going to concoct a larger solution. I will note the recipe for this in the future. Also, I have increase my water intake and am exercising to help increase my blood flow, but this has made a HUGE difference.

Give me your thoughts on this. Tell me what you think?

Peace of Christ 

Things grow best when left alone: My self-control experience.

Today is a weak day for me. I am currently experiencing  a rush of emotions as well as the desire to want to change my hair. I have learned that this is a natural tendency for myself and other women that when we are going through emotional  changes of any kind (break ups, transition, death of a loved one etc...) we change something about ourselves. Most likely, this change is our hair.

Since starting my blog, I have promised myself to work hard on staying natural and focusing on being naturally me, loving myself, and being proud of it. I want relearn the feeling of accomplishment at the end of each day. I am learning not to be the me that others think I am meant to be, but the me I am meant to be. I have already spent almost two years going back and forth from relaxer to natural, weaves to glue ins, and so  on and so forth and learned that I have not been constant and lost a bit of myself in the process.

My thoughts were rampant. Manic almost. Earlier, I wanted to dye my hair blonde...but I didn't. I wanted to go to the hair store and buy tons of hair products that I saw worked for others....but I didn't. I wanted to take down my hair and redo it....but I didn't. Back in the day, I would have just done something drastic just so I could change myself and release the emotion through being someone different. Those changes which offered me   a moment of happiness, were short lived because I would then miss being natural and regret my decision. But today I stopped, I acknowledge my thoughts, told myself "NO" and "FELT" what I was feeling. For the first time, I learned how to not let stress effect my decisions, my hair, or my actions.

Instead of doing something to my hair, I went running. Instead of focusing my feelings onto my hair, I allowed myself to feel them. It is tough, but I am just so happy that I am not doing anything to my hair. I feel empowered. I heard my soul say "Thank You" for allowing my body, and mind to continue on this natural journey. I am gaining some control and becoming happy with the beauty that is starting to grow within me, outside of me, and on top of my head. I am allowing myself to progress and see something to the end.

Today, I have no hair regime to share. I put my conditioner in, gelled it down, and left it alone when the urges came on. I have learned that things can grow when left alone. Awesome things can develop and growth can begin when you learn to let things be. Who would have thought that natural hair could teach you so much about yourself?

When homemade hair concoctions gone bad...A lesson on vitamins.

I have a bad "do it yourself" moment to share folks.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I thought it would be cool to create one of my own vitamin  pre-poo solutions. I had read that it was beneficial if I mixed water soluble pre-natal pills with olive oil, vitamin e, and water. Sigh, (shaking my head) IT WAS THE WORST SMELLING STUFF EVER. But I figured, it would be beneficial for my scalp. I had read that some people had actually done this, well not like I did it, but made vitamin solutions to place on their scalp.

Anyway, I put the stinky stuff on my scalp with a relaxer brush while trying to hold my breath. I left it on for about two minutes and then washed it out. UGGGGH, I will never do it again. No matter how much I scrubbed my scalp with my natural orange peel shampoo, I could not get rid of the vitamin smell. It was just so horrid. I even tried my hydrating with my smell good conditioner and even that didn't work. I finally got rid of the smell today after using Paul Mitchell Mint Shampoo, Fantastic Sam Fantastic Hydrating Conditioner, and Lusti Hair Gel.

I just remembered walking around all day wondering, " Ugh, can someone else smell this?" So, that is my lesson for you as well as myself today. Some pills are for swallowing. I will continue to use vitamin E gel caplets twice a week in my hair though.

 My vitamin plan will consist of taking the prenatal vitamins and biotin (you don't have to be pregnant to take them and it can actually improve you over all health) I will take prenatal twice a week and biotin once a week. This was suggested by my pharmacist if I wanted to improve my hair growth. Also, I have a sensitive system which my pharmacist is well aware of and can't take a lot of things like some folks, so that is why I am taking these vitamins in this prescribed interval. I will let you know if there has been an increase in hair growth at the end of February.

 (Note: Please check with your pharmacist before doing anything. I have an awesome pharmacist who helps me with everything that I do and use, so what I am doing has already been approved. Everyone's body is different and what may work for some, may not work for others.)

Also, I would like to give a shout out to my best friend and avid reader Katie Keene. She impressed me today with her TWA (TWF) natural knowledge. Love you and thank you for your support.

Today's Hair Regime
Olive oil
Biotin supplement
Nioxin Scalp Treatment


Peace of Christ

Say What!

I have to admit,

I am learning a lot about what un-naturals and naturals alike are using to make their hair grow or quicker ways to twist their hair. Especially home made stuff that lots of people are trying and claim work. Here are some of the best and odd ones that I have found tons of information on.

1. Monistat (Miconazole Nitrate 2%) -Okay, uhm most folks know what this is. When I saw this as a growth simulator, I about died from laughter and hysterics. The first thing I thought was, "These women are putting yeast infection creme on their head!" But then after researching and seeing the many videos and articles on this, there are many happy people.

Monistat basically works like this. It helps to kill fungus that inhibits growth on your head and it oxygenates the scalp to increase blood flow. Many naturals and un-naturals either apply the cream to their scalp or dilute it in olive oil or conditioners. There are some side effects such as headaches, tingling, and irritation, but this is mainly for sensitive scalp.

My point of view- I made some of this stuff and mixed it with olive oil (later with olive oil and vitamin e). I put some on my scalp and it is tingling and a minor headache. This is one of the side effects. I do have a sensitive scalp, but it isn't burning but tingling. I will let you know if I will continue to use this. 

2. Prenatal vitamins and Biotin- Many are using prenatal vitamins even though they are not expecting or planning on expecting in the near future. Prenatal vitamins contain minerals that promote healthy hair growth. Research has proved that the folate present in this vitamin stimulates hair growth and even regenerates certain cells in the scalp that have dried up in the past. Also, the presence of vitamin B has been proven to nourish and promote hair growth. 

Biotin is even cooler. It is a vitamin that is produced by a bacteria in our body. The best part about this bad boy is that you can never have too much because your body automatically expels it. It can prevent hair loss, promote healthy full hair, and it works.

My point of view- I went to the pharmacy to ask my pharmacist which one would work better, the biotin or the prenatal. Although the biotin was totally cheaper, I was told to use the prenatal to grow out my hair. I will see how it works and give you my results at the end of February. I still plan on buying the biotin in the future, but I want to try one thing at a time.

3. Home made locking sponge- Now, there is a really cool tool out there call the Nu-dread locking sponge. The key to this tool is to apply the locking cream to short natural hair and taking the locking sponge (has holes at the bottom of it) and rub on your hair in a clock wise circular motion. I saw the videos on this and was just amazed with the end results. But as you know, someone is going to find an generic version to save money.

Some people are actually using a sponge with holes cut in the bottom to produce the same desired effects. It has worked for some and not for others, but I tell you I have seen it work for some with the same results.

My point of view- I got a sponge, poked some holes (didn't do it perfectly but makes sure the holes do not touch) and used conditioner and oil (some use locking oil/ wax) and rubbed the sponge around my damp hair. My hair is a TWA so I did see some curling, but not a lot. I did notice that there was a small amount of breakage because of the rubbing. I think I would either get the real things or do the old school twist.

Basically readers, there is a lot of information out there, but it is up to you to research, test, and see what works best for you. Everyone's hair is different and what works for you may not work for someone else. If it is hurting you, burning you, and not making you feel well..then stop. You only have one body, so treat it nice and well. 

My regime-

Is to be good to myself and not worry about my hair tonight :)

Product Switch Up....

Okay,

I know for a fact that I AM NOT suppose to use any type of grease because it clogs of the hair and does not promote natural healthy hair growth. But, and there is a but, I have been using the Dr Miracle Temple and Nape Gro Balm and the Hot Gro Hair and Scalp Treatment and it has improved my hair by leaps and bounds. Now, I know there are a lot  of people out there who don't like this product because I took the time to actually research it and also its considered a petroleum/ grease based product. I have read several comments about the smell, how it leaves your hair brittle, that it doesn't even help you hair grow and so on and so forth. But the cool thing that I have learned about natural hair is...that everyone's hair is different and likes different things.

For some strange reason, my hair likes it. I noticed that my hair was thin near my temple and the back and I wasn't able to twist it. This was last week. I have been using the products once a day before bed and tonight I was able to twist my entire head. I was astonished. I read that some people felt that it was only good for a tingle or it made your hair shed, but I noticed a teeny tiny amount of shedding last week, but not any more. Actually, its growing rather fast. I just had a trim and shape up, and already I have new growth all over.

Yes, this product is oily to the point where I had to use a clarifying shampoo to cleanse my scalp and a light conditioner just 45 minutes before writing this post, but I figure maybe this is a product that I will use maybe  twice a week instead of every day. I think my dry hair likes the product because of the stimulation or that it's trapping in the moisture. But since I am the type who likes to make sure there aren't any flukes or coincidences, I am going to switch up my regimen.  My regimen will include more water, olive oil, and vitamin E gel caplets (which my cousin swears by...her hair is LONG). Next week, I will do my first of many Aphogee treatments since I am able to twist my hair. I will let you know if there is any improvement.


My Hair Regimen

Isoplus Natural Remedy Orange Cleanse Shampoo
Fantastic Sam's Fantastic Moisturizing Condioner (Smells so yummy)
Vitamin E Gel Caps (cut at least three open and rub oil in my hair)
Olive oil (tea spoon)

Oh, You is a LYE!

Like many of you "naturals", I was sitting back with my water doing my natural hair research when I decided to do some information on how natural women are straightening their hair without relaxers. There is  a lot of stigma that you can't have flowing, glossy, straight hair with natural hair. Relaxer companies don't tell you that it is possible get the same look that their chemicals provide because, of course, they would be out of business. You don't have to burn your scalp, your have to oil your edges, mix in the pink or yellow activating chemical with the white stuff in the jar, and no you don't have to walk around humming and doing everything possible to keep from washing it our before the allotted time for extra straight hair has been reached.

From the many sites that I have viewed, I have learned that all the hair styles that I have always wanted to achieve and every wanted could be had with natural hair. From the long locks, to the curly twist, and even to the voluminous curls....it CAN BE DONE. Many are using flat irons, natural methods, and hair and blow dryers along with heat protectants (is that a word?) to manage their hair.

Today, I put in my side part. I thought I was so fly. Actually, I am fly. The side part has allowed me to measure how much my hair has been growing...and it has been growing. My thin sides are now growing in and my pick stays in one spot as I do things around the house.

So relaxer, you is a LYE! I can do everything that I ever wanted to do with my natural hair. When it gets long enough, I already have plans of redoing my little curls and two stranded twist. But for now, I am going to enjoy my side part, my little combs and clips, and my TWA gel set to define my curls.

Hair regime today,

Rubbing my scalp
Olive Oil
Water (because its getting thick and you don't want to comb your hair without it being wet or it will break)
Silk Scarf

Natural hair is naturally easy

I have to admit that I have found that my natural hair is very freeing. So freeing that I really don't know what to do with myself. It is very low maintenance, easy to manage, and has cost me less money. Since going natural, I can sleep on a pillow and not worry about getting a crook in my neck, I wash it and go in the morning (I slap some gel on it sometimes), and I  most of my natural hair care stuff is either cheap or made at home from stuff in the fridge. I am loving it.

Now, I am not saying that relaxers, wigs, and all that stuff isn't great. Remember, I too wore them for years. But I have to be honest, I do enjoy waking into the rain and not worrying about my hair getting wet as well as watching my relaxed friends running to their cars and asking me, "Why aren't you running?". I can run and work out and not have to rush home to wash, condition, wrap, sit under the hair dryer, flat iron and style my hair. Also, I love that I can allow a man to "touch" my hair". Run his fingers through it. And not say..."Don't mess up my hair".

It is the BEST THING EVER. I feel prettier (until I feel like...ugh I look like a boy day). I like watching my natural hair grow, running my fingers through it, twisting it, checking my length, peaking at it in the mirror, and more. I like reading what people have done that helped them adjust to their natural hair growth. It is wonderful going into a grocery store and buying avocados to eat and...to put in my hair. Since letting go, I have been told that I am beautiful, that I glow, that "it fits me". I can jump out of the bed and be somewhere on time. I love it, love it, love it.

My hair care regime today is....

Olive oil
Nexium Scalp Treatment (For dry scalp)
Sulfer scalp treatment
Paul Mitchell Mint Shampoo

The things that you love the most....can hurt you.

Today,

What I loved the most hurt me. For almost a decade, I went back and forth, fooled into thinking that I was in a healthy and symbiotic relationship. When I first came upon this object of desire, I did not know what I was getting into. I was not taught to watch out for the poison that this entity could reap upon me and my well being. How could I have ever known that having this "thing" in my life would change the dynamic of everything in it. I became addicted, enamored, and I could not be without it. Even when I gained devastating knowledge of what this destructor doing to me, breaking the natural me down over and over again, and killing the good, I continued to go back. I couldn't help but go back. I thought I needed it.

My life revolved around making sure that the object of my affection and the primary focus of most of being was ever present. I could not go a day without thinking about it. I had to have it every four to six times a week. I would wonder if others were going through the same thing. At one moment, I broke away and I let the beauty that is me shine. I was strong. I was at peace with my naturalness. But the when I saw it, when I read the words of how I could be more beautiful, how I would shine, and glow with it in my life again...I broke down.

For years, I went back and forth. Back and forth I went, thinking that I was loved. Until I noticed that
I wasn't. All this time I thought that I was beautiful, that it was being "straight" with me, that all the instructions were clear, open, and honest...it was all a "Lye". It lied to me. It was cancerous. It burned me. It broke me. It irritated me. The glossy facade was false. The easiness and manageability was its way of making me think that I was in control. Oh, how I loved it. This object of my affection...but how it cheated me over and over again. Never really faithful to me. Never really honest. Never loving. Never constant. Just a white haired "lye".

Today,

I learned that things you love the most can hurt you.  I am talking about my love affair with relaxers and a litany of other styling products. How much money and time I have wasted. How many pools I have not dived in for fear of messing up my hair. What about all the pillows I could not lay my head on? The head aches, the glues, the burns, lace wigs, tracks, weaves, and even patting my head so that I wouldn't mess up my hair. Yes, you girls know what I'm talking about.

And I also learned another lesson from this as well. Anything can hurt us that is "bad" for us. People can hurt us as well. God made me with natural hair, so I have learned through this transition that to modify myself would second best. For me, I need to be me and let natural hair and self  be first. To straighten it would be like a married man telling his wife that he loves her when he has another lover that he is telling the same thing too. You can't love two things the same way, something is always going to be first.  For years I have gone back and forth with my secondary status of being what I thought "should be me" and not what "IS ME". Thank God for this epiphany.

Tomorrow,

I am going to love myself even more. I am going to splash on a little make up, enjoy my TWA, throw on some large earrings, strut my stuff, run an extra mile, dance a little harder, and live life to its fullest. I will continue to say that I love me and take my friend's advice. He told me..."It's all about what you let influence you and who you have in your life. This is the secret to a good life". No, I'm not going to cast away "ME" anymore. I want to love me.

Today's Regime

Let go of the things that hurt me a bit at time.
Olive oil,
Mane and Tail Conditioner with Water (Can't comb hair when it is dry or it will break)
Empress Grow Solution
Letting things go and allowing myself a fresh start
Take things one day at a time
No longer love the past...embrace it and make way for the future.

PS. MY HAIR IS GETTING THICKER..YAYAYAY. Had to give myself a shape up.

Wedding Hairstyles for 2012

Every girl deserves to be at her best during that very important day in her life: her wedding day. Everything needs to be perfect; from her whole wedding ensemble down to the tiniest detail in her wedding reception. So to help all the bride-to-be's out there, here are some tips on choosing the perfect hairstyle amidst all options out there. There are a lot of hairstyles to choose from and it should be planned extensively.

 

Daytime or evening wedding

There are hairstyles that go specifically for daytime and evening activities. A day ceremony is usually considered as an informal affair so brides can wear their hair down and showcase some loose curls. Curls are perfect for a romantic look and are good for short hair with all-over curls, or a long mane with cascading curls. However, rules of wedding hairstyles change when it comes to a night time event. Thus, it is best to consult with a professional about this. Updos are always great for formal evening affairs. Updos are perfect for all weddings especially if the bride wants to showcase her shoulders and neck. They are also best known for enhancing the bride's features as since it sweeps hair off the face. Example of classic updos that are best for day and night include the French twist, chignon, and other half-up hairstyles.

Wedding gown first, hairstyle second.

Wedding hairstyles should complement the gown. Thus, professional stylists suggest that the perfect time to plan the bride's look is after the gown has been selected. Certain shapes and fit of gowns go with specific hairstyles. For instance, fitted gowns call for elegant and smooth hairstyles whereas flowing long gowns are better suited for softer ones. Fabrics are also helpful in determining the right hairstyle. Light fabrics will complement wispy curls and textured hair whereas heavy fabrics demand structured barrel curls or smooth hair. Notice how a chiffon wedding dress looks very beautiful when the bride wears a loose pouf in the back?

 

Bridal fairs, bridal flairs!

Aside from a trusted hair salon, there are a lot of other rich resources that brides can utilize to help her in her decision making process. Bridal magazines are rich sources of information.

Soon to be wives can also go to bridal fairs and other wedding expos. Not only can they see various wedding hairstyles, they can also get to talk to specialists regarding key wedding elements such as gowns, flowers.

Egg, olive oil, and honey....in my hair? What?

So today, I decided that I was going to try a new natural hair concoction. I have read a lot of articles and watched  a plethora  of YouTube documentaries of people discussing their natural hair remedies and hair products. One thing that kept jumping out at me  were the many references for olive oil, the use of eggs, conditioners, or pre-poo solutions (preparing your hair before you shampoo) for their hair. So, I decided to make my own. I didn't find a recipe, I just thought I would just try some of the basic things that were used in many of the homemade products.

I decided to use my hair potion after I ran my 2 miles today. Before I did, I added Dr. Miracle's Hot Grow to stimulate my scalp while I ran. Before I left though, I made my pre-poo solution so it could be ready and gelled when I returned. Here my what I used..


Natural Pre-Poo Solution

1 Egg
4 Tablespoons of olive oil
1 tablespoon of honey

Mix it for two minutes and place it in the refrigerator for five minutes.

Now, mine stayed in the fridge longer minutes because I went running. When I returned, I applied the solution, placed a plastic bag over my hair to help with the conditioning and heat, and then waited five minutes. I think next time, I will get under the hair dryer though.

Well, my hair doesn't feel any different yet. I'm going to be honest but maybe this is something that I will have to do twice a week or something. My hair smells really good though. I also noticed that I haven't had any need or want to scratch it. Maybe there is something to this natural hair stuff. Anyway, I will try again this week and get under the hair dryer to see if there is a difference.

This morning, I sooooo didn't like my hair. I didn't love myself or the way I looked today. I felt like a refugee kid. I didn't feel pretty. I didn't feel any natural pride, and so on and so what. "Sigh, my dad told me..a watched pot never boils" Well, I'm going to try to forget about looking for the growth and focus on what different styles I can do with it now. But this is normal and the roughest part and the place where many transitioners give up and go back to a relaxer. That is why some people actually let their hair grow out or six months before they do a "Big Chop". Anyway, I'm sticking it out and proud...even though I feel like a boy.

Well, no point repeating my hair regimen. :-) Its above.

My Black Skin is....

                                                     

                                                   

 Property of My Black Skin Is (Gene 2010)

 Do not reuse image with out the permission of owner

Gene is an inspirational brother with a strong message. I actually chatted with him a couple of days ago and what motivated him to start such a beautiful and inspirational company. The name of his his company is "My Black Skin Is". He stated that the reason why he began such and endeavor was due to the lack of positive images for African American [Black] people.  One of the best things that Gene said was. " Not every Black Person want to be a basketball player or a rapper. There are more to us than those two things".

My Black Skin is has a variety of gear. From college, to natural, to even cancer awareness, there is an inspirational voice in everything that he has made. You can see the love and time he has put into his wear. He  even managed to find shirts that fit well to the African American form. He called it "figure hugging". His love of Black Women and our people is profound.

Here is the link to his site. I am going to order tons of things because its inspirational for me. If you would like to know more, connect to his facebook site. I don't have twitter, but Gene is also on twitter.



https://www.facebook.com/myblackskinis

Relapse Prevention-

Sorry I didn't write last night, but I was having my first bout with relapse. I so wanted to take some relaxer and just perm my hair. I even watched a YouTube video on "healthy relaxers". I watched how this man styled this woman't hair and she shook it effortlessly. Oh, I wanted some of the relaxer crack.

So, to combat it, I put on a lace wig. I have TONS OF THEM. I have long, short, medium, long...I have everything. I just wanted glistening flowing hair. I went out, I shook my hair, I let it hang out all over, and I was SET! Until I remembered why I gave up relaxers and weaves in the first place. I felt so fake, unreal, un-me. It was like all my beauty was based on the societal context of my hair and not me? The real me. Yes, I looked good, but I felt like I was cheating.

As soon as I got home, I took it off. Im me again. Feeling a little lost, but then I looked at pictures of short 'Big Chops" and TWAs (Teeny Weeny Afro's) and I felt like I had some support and some hope.

You learn patience :-) when going natural because there is no such thing as quick results.

Hair Regime Today

Moisturize-Wash and Go
Multi-Vitamin
Lusti's Organics Sheen, Hair Mayonnaise, Sheen, and Jail (Its winter time..GOT TO HYDRATE)

NATURAL HAIR: YO BOYFRIEND DONT LIKE IT??

Ideas Hairstyles

Numerous hairstyle magazines and web sites abound to help women get ideas for just the right hair cut for their facial features. Of course, all the styles in these magazines look absolutely fabulous on each of these models. The trick is to transfer one of the ideas that are so appealing from the many photographs to your every day life. It is helpful to understand some basics about choosing the right hairstyle so that you do not become a hairstyle casualty. As you search for an idea, you want to consider your lifestyle, your career choice, and the shape of your face as you decide what hairstyle would be your perfect cut.

First you should decide if you prefer a length that is long, medium, or short. But once that is decided, your decision making is not done by any means. Each length is associated with quite a variety of styles. The shape of your face and your individual facial features will play a significant role in what style is best for you. In addition to your facial features, you will also want to take your career into consideration. If you are constantly traveling or making presentations, you may want a style that is not only easy and quick to manage, but one that helps you achieve a professional look. Perhaps you will choose a sleek style. If you are in the fashion industry or a creative, marketing job, you might choose a style that expresses an artistic flair, perhaps a style with lots of curls.

Bangs are chosen by many women with long hair. With this style idea, your hair can be curly, naturally wavy, or straight. All these styles look great with bangs. If you have a round face, choose a long style that frames your face and narrows it. If you have an oval face, your face will be slightly longer so bangs will help to shorten your face. A slight layering at the ends will help to frame your face and soften features if you have a square face.

  

If you decide on short hair, it is very important to choose a style that compliments your face shape. It is equally important to think about your hair's texture when deciding upon a short style. If your hair is thin, a bob cut gives a fuller appearance. If your hair's texture is thick, layering will look fantastic in a short style.

Any idea you have for a hair style will be even better if you think about the shape of your face and the texture of your hair. The best hairstyles are the ones that fit your personality, lifestyle, face, and hair type. It is the whole picture together that creates an amazing looking you!

Early Night...

Tonight,

This blog will be short and simple. I am going to to BED EARLY. Sleep is vital for emotional and mental stability and hair growth. My increasing your sleep, you lessen your risk of depression and stress. From all the data I have read and years of hearing my mom and dad say, "You need to get at least 8 hours a sleep", sleep is important for the body to work correctly.

So, tonight, I am going to bed at ten. Turning off the phone, shutting off the computer, switching off the t.v. and sleeping.

Today's Hair Regime
Said I was beautiful
Was thoughtful about my actions (caught myself several times)
Dr. Miracles Hot Grow
Dr Miracles Nape Grow
Olive oil

Empress Regrow...My Take.

Since going natural, I have been using the Empress Re-Growth (Hair Growth Treatment for Women). Now, I have been using this item for about a month. They have a starter kit that you can get for less that $ 20.00. Since using the treatment, which contains 2% Minoxidil, I have noticed that my hair has grown a lot. I had to give it a bit of a trim last week to cut the rest of the relaxer out, but already my ends are shooting back up and out. I used this last time and had awesome results. 

Also, the package comes with a scalp moisturizer and the hair moisturizing lotion which is really helpful. I know that many natural hair sites stress against petroleum based (what we call hair grease) products because it clogs up the pores, and this product has you in mind. Since using it, the hair that was thin is already waving up and thick. I'm sporting a side part and waves now. Tried doing the big earring thing, but it ain't me. But, I digress, this stuff works pretty well.

Now, I use to use this product ever day, but now I use it every other day. I have been keeping up with my vitamins and using the Vitamin E gel capsules and alternating back and forth to allow my hair not to get use to or become dependent on one product. The joy of growing natural hair out is finding different things that will help it and you grow.

Also, as you have read, I have increased my water and natural juice intake. Did you know that its better to drink cranberry juice than apple juice? The cranberry juice contains less sugar and more natural antioxidants than apple juice. That is why a lot of people are no longer giving their kids apple juice because it causes cavities in children at a younger age.

If anyone else has any thing to say about this product, let know. So far, I enjoy it.

Today's Hair Regime
Empress Regrow
Olive oil
rub my scalp
SLEEP BY 10:00PM (Sleeping leads to stability....will talk about that in the future)

Knowing when to shut up.....and other facts of life...

Today,

I had a shut up moment. I have been getting lots of those of late. I was speaking on my view of amorality, the reading, and trying to relate how Christians are improperly using Mayan mysticism and placing it with Christianity. I wanted to show how Mayans see 12,25,2012 as the end of their calendar and the start of  a new age and how Christians were saying it was the end. I wanted to relay how people can take something meaningful to one culture and corrupt it in another. It felt that this was amoral of Christianity to create negativity around another cultures religion.

But, I was shut up. Not allowed to say or finish what I wanted to say. Instead, I was told, "that they wanted to get the view point of another student" who was tragically put on the spot and made to feel uncomfortable. Maybe the person wanted that person to learn. Maybe they wanted to teach me a lesson. If so, I learned one today. I learned "knowing when to shut up".

I was admittedly hurt at first and red faced for a second, but then I was glad that I was shut up. I was glad that I was put back into my place. I lowered my head in class and adverted glances. I felt uncomfortable. I felt a bit angry. I wanted to say, "IF YOU JUST LET ME FINISH I WOULD EXPLAIN". But no, I shut my mouth. I kept my cool. Instead, I slowly breathed in, I lowered my head, thought of my hair and how proud of the growth I felt, I told myself that I was beautiful, that I loved myself, and that I could only give what I was allowed to give. The hurt went away. I was able to raise my head and I just stayed still. I remained quiet. I listened.

I can't let a moments like these defeat me again. My dad always told me...get a ducks back. But there are times where things just don't roll off. My problem was that things never seemed to roll off...until now. The first thing I thought, "If my stress level rises, all the hard work that I have done to obtain some modicum of stability will go down the drain." This is my time to change. I had a choice to continue my "Woes as me, she doesn't like me attitude" or I could just SHUT UP AND LET GO. I chose to shut up and let it go. As my class mate said...sometimes you just want to say "Fuck", throw up your hands, and let it go. I chose that today.

Today's Hair Regime

Paul Mitchell's Mint Shampoo
Mane and Tail Conditioner
Meditation Moment on my blog...

Prom Hairstyles

Proms are events in life which turn into memories. The ambiance, music and excitement only increases with each hour. This is a perfect makeover time as people all this while have seen you with pig tails and pony tails. This again serves as an opportunity for you to learn about make up, style creation and a lot about hair styles. Firstly get a good hair cut. For novices it is important to know that hair cut is much about face length and dimension of your facial features. The size of your ears and the neck length needs to be taken into consideration before a hair cut.

For girls with long hair a new try-out would be to shorten the length artificially. Wash, dry hair and comb it well to smoothen the knots. Use good quality curlers and curl it almost till your crown. Pigi wrap method of rolling would be the best to get maximum curls. Another idea is also to use small sections of hair. Curled hair creates a lot of volume and if your hair is originally thin then you could leave it open with a glittering side pin.. For thick hair, it is good to tie a high pony and using hair accessories to match with your main outfit. If you have a broad face then a high pony without earrings will elongate your neck and highlight your jaw line.

There are formal prom hairstyles which can change the look of your face. If you have medium length wavy hair it would be a good idea to add more waves at the ends and have an open hair look. The waves can fall over the shoulders. You could keep arranging your hair with your hands to bounce it up as and when you feel so. Make sure to get your hair style in place when you pose for a photograph. One must remember that updo hairstyles can give you a weighty feeling and hence it would be good to try out the hairstyle earlier to see if the same is manageable.

Prom hairstyles can be explored with hair colours. Chic cuts never go out of fashion and if you have a curly bob you could use some glitter and spray the hair to keep it in place. Learning the right way to blow dry your hair is necessary. Using the right amount of conditioner and the perfect shampoo is the primary necessity before trying new hairstyles. Hairstyles in waves, curls, poker straight hair or shaggy ones go well with prom gowns.

Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself

Love is more than a four letter word...

I love you...
I love those shoes
I love the Kardashians
I love ice cream

What is love? I have had someone tell me that the loved me. I have even said that I loved someone. I love so many things, but do I mean it? Do they mean it? What is love?

Honestly, I truly don't think I know what love is. This is beyond the "God is love" that they teach us in Sunday School. I am talking about pure, not what you see on television, different from the love mother and father gave me, or the type of love my friends give me. No, I am talking about true love. And this love doesn't have to be with another person.

While sipping my very tasteless water and eating an orange, I was thinking....when do I tell myself that I love me? Does that sound strange? Think about it for a minute. You tell everyone else that you love them, but when do you say that you ....love you? This is so thought provoking. When I thought about it, I thought I made some kind of emotional break through as a therapist. Yes, the "Golden Rule" is to "Love thy neighbor as thyself" (Mark 12:31) or "To treat others as you would have them to treat you", but why isn't there a rule that just says "LOVE YOURSELF"

Is the sole reason why we don't say that we love us is because it is deemed selfish? What is so wrong with loving yourself? I remember someone in my past telling me that, "I love you more than I love myself". I remember looking at him and saying "Don't, that's not right." You should be selfish and love yourself more." But why hadn't I taken my own advice.

As I look at my natural hair growing, I am learning to look at me. I am learning to see myself for who I am. Its just so odd how all women are being stigmatized into changing themselves in order to fit a cookie cutter idea of what they are suppose to be instead of who they are. Black women are stigmatized by society that long straight locks and light skin are the root to beauty. Women size twelve and up are inundated with pictures of anorexic models and weight loss commercials. White women are badgered with botox, face lifts, and breast implants. Men are competing against time with Viagra, hair implants, and young men. It's a dog eat dog world.

So, this evening, I am going to start telling myself...as I tell other..that I love me. And I am going to mean it. I love my smile, I love my laugh, I love my goofy giggle, I love my hair. I LOVE ME. No one can love me better than I love myself. No one can love me until I love myself.

Love yourself today..try it. It may seem strange at first, but try it.

Today's regime (before bed)

Go to bed at 9:30pm
Look in the mirror and say (I am beautiful)
Olive oil the hair
Take Vitamin E (Good for skin in winter weather)
Drink a glass of water
Say prayers and mediate..Thank God :-)
Say that I love YOU ALL.and then save the best for last...THAT I LOVE ME